What did you say? I said ‘Jack-in-the-box syndrome! This is a child who
just loves getting out of bed to see where you are and what you are up to- all
hours of the night!!! You walk them back to their bed, and before you know it
they are hot on your heels.
This can be frustrating and exhausting for parents who eventually ‘give up’ and let their child either sleep on the couch or hop into their bed, just
so the family can get a little sleep. This problem is very common and it
usually starts around 2-3 years of age. I speak with many families whereby the
dad has been banished from the bed altogether. This sleeping arrangement is not
sustainable, nor is it healthy for your relationship with your partner. Your
bed is YOUR bed and that is the way it needs to be so you can all get a good
night’s sleep.
So, what can you do?
Wait to Transition into a Bed
I would not transition a toddler into a ‘big bed’ until at least 2.5
years of age. The later, the better! Many parents transition their child far
too early, trying to fix an existing bad sleep situation only to find it’s
worse now they have the freedom to get out on their own.
Communication
Even if your child is not completely verbal, their understanding is
amazing. During the day set the expectations for the night in simple
‘kid-friendly’ language. Tell them they will stay in bed the entire night until
it’s morning time (at least 6am). I like using a visual timetable that outlines
each step of the bedtime routine with the last picture showing them in their
bed. Get creative! Bedtime is non-negotiable from here on in.
Rewards
Children are egocentric. If there is something in if for them, they will
want to do it. Get a reward chart ready to go and make a big deal about it. Get
a ‘treat bag’ and fill it with little surprises. These do not need to be
expensive. Items such as books, hair clips, cars and play-dough work well. Each
night they remain in their bed, they will earn a sticker on their chart as well
as a treat from the bag. Work towards a surprise at the end, like an outing or
a special toy.
Consistency
Children test boundaries. They need to know that the rules are the rules
no matter what. Rules enable them feel safe and secure in their environment.
Children will try and try again to work around the rules BUT really they want
you to say ‘NO’. Once you ‘give in’ you will create a bigger problem. Children
quickly learn that you mean what you say only some of the time. You need to be
strong and firm and have routines in place. If you are consistent all of the
time, then the transition will be a lot easier. Change is hard for everybody
and it will be met with some protest from your child. Remember you are doing
what is best for them AND for your entire family.
Fun
Make bedtime fun. You don’t want your little one dreading bedtime
because it’s when they are banished to their room, alone, missing out on the
fun elsewhere. Sing songs, read a book together, talk about the day. Purchase
some special pyjamas and let them choose which ones to wear.
All children at some stage will want to get out of bed and hop into
yours. Armed with this knowledge, the key to success is to be prepared for it.
Each night needs to be predictable and you need to be consistent. I have
provided some simple tips that can certainly improve the sleep situation
overall. The good news is that it is achievable but toddlers/children can be
tricky customers. If you find that it is all too difficult, remember I can help
you to solve this once and for all with a tailored plan and support program. Contact
me today for more information. www.sleepytime.net.au
Janelle Jeffery- Sleepytime
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